Why do these things always happen to me? What is wrong with the rest of the world? Do you see how people drive out there? That guy just cut me off! What’s her problem? Did you see the attitude that salesclerk had with me? Where is that waitress? People just don’t know the meaning of service anymore! Am I the only sane person on the planet?
A few weeks ago, I had a client call that was at her wits end. She rambled on and on, not even taking a breath to tell me how her whole day had been ruined by people that were trying to make her life difficult, just because they could not function in the world.
You can see the level of energy coming from her just by reading some of the commentary above, but add to that her voice, tone, and rapidity of speech and the negative energy and frustration just came through the phone.
I allowed her to rant until, all of a sudden, she had nothing to say. When I did not quickly respond, she started again…”Are you still there? Aren’t you going to say something? And I do not want to hear about how this is all my own creation. I am not like those other people in the world. They are crazy! I am just a normal person trying to live a normal life and having to deal with the dysfunction of society and having been born into a family that does not realize it has real issues.”
I replied, “Well I think you need to breathe. Look at the energy vortex you have created around yourself. You are a walking pistol, ready to go off at any and everything. Why do you think all this has happened in your world?”
“I do not know. Those people have issues. I do not have issues and just want to be left alone and live my life.”
I smiled to myself. She had fought tooth and nail about every occurrence in her life for the last year and a half and believed that was normality. Isn’t it amazing at what we become used to? The things we talk ourselves into believing… it is just the way life is and always everyone else’s problem. If it is in your world, it is your problem and you probably attracted it to you for a reason. To fight the situation and put blame and judgment on others means that the lesson was missed. Any time you become triggered by someone else ask a couple of questions:
1. What am I doing to draw this to my life?
2. What is the lesson I need to learn from this situation so that I do not have to repeat it?
Regardless of what many may believe, we constantly attract the people and situations that reflect our own interior state of being. If you are a person that is enraged, anxious, and always fighting with the world, you will encounter situations where people act that way towards you or provoke you to elicit that type of response.
Have you noticed that there are some people that are happy-go-lucky, carefree, and always laughing about the world. They seem to have the best luck or end up with wonderful stories to tell that they share and allow others to laugh at as well. Their inner constitution is reflecting back to them in their experiences.
It is not the ‘issue’ that is the issue but ‘how you respond to the issue’ that is of importance.
If their is any bit of anger, jealousy, bitterness, blame, or judgment about another family member, friend, or stranger…what ever your thought about that person is really what you feel about yourself projected onto them. When you heal your own issue (and yes, we all have issues regardless of what you want to think) all of a sudden, there is no reason to hold anything against anyone, because you are at peace.
To think that you have no issues in life or that it is everyone else’s problem only portrays your own denial for facing the reality of yourself. The longer you hide that part of you, the more she is going to act out. There will be a constant underlying irritation of life and it will feel laborious to move forward. Life will feel as a chore rather than an exuberant plane of discovery.
So how did it end with the client? After working with her for several sessions, she came to realize that she was very angry, particularly at herself. She had let herself down, time and time again, by not living up to what she felt she should have in life. Her job, marital status, and financial situation were less than ‘normal’. Usually the hardest thing to recognize is how we blame ourselves for expectations of what we think life needs to look like. When you can sit back and look at your life and say, ‘If this is what it is and the most it shall ever be, I will be okay with it. I can be happy and have a good time in the process knowing where I stand.I do not have to put that on anyone else and i no longer have to feel guilty about it either.’ Although it sounds easier than it is, this simple acknowledgment and acceptance will then help your life change.
Everything does not have to have an explanation or make sense. Quit looking for the reasons ‘why’. Stop trying to justify ‘what’ has made you do all the things you do. Quit looking for answers from other people so that you can hang on to your old stories of how you were mistreated and denied what you deserved. Just look in the mirror and say ‘It is what it is…and sometimes I just screw up…and that is okay.’ Just surrender to the life you have. Be grateful for what is there. Reach out instead of reacting. Make another choice…choose peace and compassion for yourself and the world around you will reflect it.
Until the next… Fashion Emergency!!!