Take a space of time and sit still…Be alone with oneself. Leave all of the world behind…all except water. What do you think you will find…come to know…experience? What is possible if you allow the flow…
I call to the energies of the East,
The keeper of mind and knowledge Lead me, guide me.
I call to the energies of the South,
Guardian of the inner child, the body, and innocence Favor me with joy and laughter.
I call to the energies of the West,
Ruler of the heart and emotions Take me into the silence.
I call to the energies of the North,
Heavenly Father, Holy Spirit, Seat of Almighty Wisdom Help me.
I call to the energies of the Fifth Direction,
Angels of Mercy and Guardians of Light Shower grace upon me.
I call to the energies of the Sixth Direction,
Mother Earth, Gaia Nurture me, Protect me, Hold me.
I call to the energies of the Seventh Direction,
All My Relations, All My Relations Reveal my Divinity, my Oneness to All things.
I have always been a very open soul, quite fortunate to have been raised in a religion that embraced and respected all others. I was reared in a family that taught me, it is not only alright to walk into any place of worship, but of utmost importance to embrace, love, and respect each tradition and the wonderful saviors that came forth. My parents encouraged me to read all the sacred texts and to feel free to pray using any and all of them because throughout them all were a string of common truths.
Even before I ever read it, I understood that religions are simply constructs pathways, so to speak, to lead us all to the same place. Some know that place as God, others call it Love, Source, Universe and the many names that exist for the Infinite Presence. I knew that regardless of how we pray, when, what religion we ascribe to, or what sacred text we read from, we are all praying to the same loving God.
I love to honor different traditions and express that feeling to our Creator by celebrating this beautiful gift of life through many experiences particularly spiritually oriented experiences. An, urge, a longing, an inner call came to do a Vision Quest. A Vision Quest, most notably a ceremony of the Native American tradition, is a rite of passage when one takes the time to get away from life and commune with nature, their own soul, and God.
Typically the individual remains out in a small designated area for three days and three nights fasting. Through this period, one can experience insights, awareness, and sometimes visions. Most often a profound shift occurs allowing for a deeper meaning of life to unfold. This was one of the most powerful experiences of my life.
I was asked to go out and find the spot on the 185 parcel of land that spoke to me. Rune Hill is a beautiful place with meadows and woods, so there was an abundance of choice. I started off and came across a stack of rocks that immediately spoke to me. However, when I looked to where it was leading, I realized it would go deep into the woods. Since I desired to be in the sun, I chose not to follow the path that called to my heart. I kept walking but pathways, obstacles, and woods always turned me back around. Isn’t this what we do in life? Our heart tells us one thing, our ego says another. When we listen to our ego we find challenge and obstacles. When we listen to our messages, we are led along to the next message and the path is smooth. Secondly, although we may long for only light, we can not fully comprehend that until we are able to step into the darkness.
I know that everything always means something and this experience was to be no different. As much as I wanted to be in the sun, I somehow kept ending up in the woods. No matter how I tried, I would end up back in front of the stack of rocks. I was to be led into an area of trees that felt like a cave. I finally surrendered and climbed the steep path.
As I went deeper into the woods, I came across another stack of rocks. To anyone else they would have gone un-noticed. However for me, stacks of rocks have always shown up and usually indicate a place of balancing a time of self tuning. So, I knew I had found the right place.
Having never truly camped before, I was not completely aware this area was on a gentle slope; something I would learn as soon as I placed my head down to rest. I also did not realize the pattern of the sun within the space or what trees were surrounding me. It was time to return to the base camp. I was to just leave my things and return for a ceremony around the fire. Upon dusk, I would make my way back to the site to remain.
A beautiful fire ceremony presented an opportunity to release something significant that needed to be let go of in my life. We are ever-evolving creatures that must continually learn to release and let go it is how we grow, change, and discover our true nature. It was now dusk and time to create my sacred space. I turned from the fire, bidding it farewell and a promise to return in three days.
Upon reaching my sacred area, I honored the different directions and called in protection. I stepped ‘into the wheel’ and set up the tent. The evening was quiet and slightly cool and as I gazed up at the trees that surrounded me. I could hear them creaking and calling for me to speak. All of a sudden the task before me seemed so grand. I had come to discard of something, to let go of a burden but who would I be without it? Could I lay it down? Would Mother Earth be willing to soak up my tears? We all have places of burden, but when are we truly ready to let them go? Can we trust enough that energy, a high essence, really desires to relieve us? Can YOU be authentic enough to reveal your heart? Can you admit, that in humanness, we experience tragedy, loss, heart ache, and despair can you be okay in experiencing this part as well?
I wanted to pray and in that instant, I completely forgot how to. I fell to my knees, with tears in my eyes and whispered out loud, ‘How do I pray?’ Tears streamed down my face. I was utterly flabbergasted because I had prayed my whole life. I grew up with a prayer room in my home. When I got married, the very first room in the house we bought was designated a prayer room. I visited two and three times a day. ‘How could I not know how to pray?’ In that instant, the wind whipped up and the trees moaned as if consoling me. I heard very clearly the following words “You are the prayer You are the prayer!” In my being a knowing came that halted my tears. I deeply understood that the act of prayer is something we do to connect to Source. But, Source created us as ‘the prayer’ when life was breathed in. We simply have to get to where we remember we are the being instead of the doing of the prayer. We are living representations of God’s prayer.
I am not certain how much time passed but the wind stopped and the trees settled. I sat in the middle of the setting and asked if they would be willing to hear my story. At that moment, approximately 40 birds flew in and landed on the closest branches to me as if a perched audience. I thought it so coincidental and waited a few moments for them to fly away but they remained.
As I poured out my story, making certain to speak of every detail, so that I carried nothing back with me, I felt my body lighten. The heaviness in my mind and heart lifted and I realized how loving Mother Earth was. She was taking in my words, my feelings, my emotions. She had been there always giving so much of herself, willing to take what we do not need.
I was filled with sadness at how we mistreat her how we take her for granted and how even our young children are not fully aware of the healing nature of the Great Mother. Much of the evening had passed and it seemed lightning and rain was on the way. I completed my story and tucked myself into the tent, very happy that the rains of cleansing were coming to wash all away.
I awoke the next morning to stillness. Light was peeking in just barely through the tops of the trees so my area remained shadowed. I noticed many slugs everywhere just sitting. I knew to take note of what critters chose to be near me during this time. I knew the slug was telling me to ‘Be’ not move, not do just sit in one place and be still.
However, just as most humans that are used to being busy all of the time, I immediately got up and decided I would exercise or move around my area. But every direction I tried to move, I would get poked or prodded by a branch as if to say, ‘Sit down’. In other places limbs lay on the ground and barred my way from passing. I very quickly found myself sitting on the ground with my slug friends. It was only then I really noticed my surroundings.
Between the shadows of dusk and my willingness to share, I had not clearly seen the space my soul had led me to. I was in the midst of a forest of seemingly dead trees. Although the outer rim of trees was alive, everything inside my circle appeared lifeless; the branches I touched were brittle and cracked. The bark had caked away, and the wood was dry. I looked high into the sky to notice that the tops of the trees were alive and thriving, but the parts of the trees that were in the shadows and hidden appeared lifeless and broken. Everything means something. We do let what is seen on the outside often appear so alive when at times our insides feel so dead. I knew this was truth for many people and at times of my life, true for me. I also knew that these seemingly dead trees aspoke of resilience, hope, and new birth. In allowing the old parts of ourselves, the shadowed areas to be acknowledged and put to rest .our greater more alive being-ness would be allowed to blossom, grow and emerge.
I felt at peace here. This was real. There were no masks, no false coverings. These trees knew who they were and stood proudly. I remained still and quiet for most of the day, not knowing how time passed, feeling as if it no longer existed. At some point between the sun being behind me to the east and now in front of me setting in the West, I awakened from the meditation I had fallen into. As I glanced down, I noticed a two foot snake resting inches to my left. His tongue flickered in and out. Other than that movement, he remained still. We sat honoring each others presence as the sun set in our midst. We both understood there was no other purpose than to be, to view, to sit, to breathe, to know ourselves as everything around us; not just the bodies we seemingly inhabited.
I allowed myself to remain outside of the tent that night. I felt the cool chill move in as the stars multiplied in the sky fully lit with activity. I felt myself drawn into another meditation the haze between the window of what was truly real and seemingly illusion was but a thin veil of whispy organza wavering softly between the seeing eyes and the invisible eye. I began seeing a circle of shadows in the distance just outside my sacred circle. The figures stood radiantly all around me and their silhouettes cast a wondrous glow. I asked silently for them to come closer that I may see them that I may know them.
I seemed to have stepped into a space where there was no time. Surrounded by the love and beauty that emanated from these beings, a conversation transpired that would be emblazoned in my heart forever. I had always known humans to be eternal beings and only the essence of goodness and love. The clarity of these Beings of Light on the subject of ‘Oneness’ filled me with great understanding of the immense power we carry through our interconnectedness; from this place we can create a new world.
I returned from the vision quest with the latest issue having been received. As usual, many wonderful comments poured in at how beautiful and uplifting it was. This time there was another voice coming through it was the voice of FEAR.
I had chosen to distribute several thousand magazines in an area of the South to expose people to the publication so that they may choose if it resonated with them as a vehicle of support. All of a sudden, I began receiving some very angry calls about 11:11. Some individuals wanted to know what religion it was. Others wanted top know who was behind it. A few questioned what the numbers signified. Several wanted to never receive it again because of the article on Wicca philosophy and the appearance of circles as a logo. it was obvious they had not taken the time to read it before creating perceptions.
I knew three things that made sense
- Time Magazine and Newsweek had both reported that the largest density of fear exists in the
USA and the greatest weight of that happened to be in the South. Although my message was in love and service, it was received in a different way, taken as something unfamiliar that which made people feel they were betraying their taught beliefs.
- There is a grave misconception for many people that ‘Spirituality’ and ‘Religion’ are one in the same when in fact they are not. Religion is a belief system, a framework to support someone in greater connection to a particular faith and a greater power. It is typically what one is born into. Spirituality is the knowingness of an essence that runs through the physical. It is part of Source and has the capacity to move beyond all beliefs to gain a greater experience and be tapped into. Spirituality is the heart connection to all things particularly oneself. 11:11 is based on spirituality not religion.
- It was time for me to get still and realize that if so much fear was showing up around me where was I in fear? After all, everything is a mirror.
FEAR exists and is simply ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’. When fear shows up, it is an opportunity to examine what one is truly afraid of. Often times fear arises because we are moving beyond who we know ourselves to be moving beyond what we have been taught moving beyond what the family/society/tribe would consider acceptable. And, it is easier to be one of a crowd than to question and discover ones own beliefs and unique path. It takes a great amount of courage to choose a path and be okay walking it alone if necessary.
What I knew to be true was that I was not here to change anyone’s religion, or them, or what they wanted to believe. My purpose is to present information and open the way for deeper feeling, greater knowledge and understanding. I also knew that other peoples’ reactions had very little to do with me. Others’ reactions, positive or negative, exist so that they may see where their insides are. No one has the power to make another afraid, angry, or even joyful. Certainly not I and certainly not you. The final truth was that the Universe was presenting an opportunity to stay in commitment to my service, my love and my passion regardless of what showed up. When you commit to yourself, your heart, and the service of good, the world will give feedback to question your choices. This is an opportunity to stay committed or fall victim to the deceptive intelligence. What you choose determines how you value yourself and your authentic nature. So where was my fear? My fear lay in the place that felt…what if people walk away from me, do not like me, or do not hear the message I am relating. My fear mirrored itself to me through the calls. And for a moment, like we all do, I allowed myself to focus on the handful of negative calls rather than the barrel full of positive ones. I focused on the fear (false evidence appearing real) instead of the Oneness (both things need to exist to truly be all oneness is everything experienced, recognized, and moved through). I share this story with you for several reasons
- Where are your fears? What are they here to teach you?
- When you do not like or are afraid of something, do you walk away from it, turn your back to it, ask questions, or embrace it? This is how you live your life.
- What is the false evidence appearing real in your life?
- What do you need to become more at oneness with? your thoughts, your beliefs, your ideas your dreams and passions your limitless possibilities?
- What does Oneness mean to you?
- How big will you allow yourself to be?… How broad your mind?… How open your heart?… How grand your dreams?
All you have to do is BELIEVE…Beyond the Illusion!!!