Have you ever thought about what you are really attached to? What are the things in life you could easily give up? What would you not think a second thought about if it were taken from you? What does the attachment to something or someone really say about you? What is the true definition of detachment?
The understanding of real happiness begs the question of where it comes from. So often our happiness is linked to things, situations and people. There is an attachment to having the latest electronic, a certain piece of pie, a particular pair of shoes, a car or knowing what size diamond will end up on the finger. Those material items are considered measurements, a guage so to speak, of how much ‘love’ there is in life. For others it may stem from being around people,taking trips, going to parties, football games or being out on the lake in a boat. Again, this is a measurement of how much love you feel from the outside. And then, there are the tiny invisible cords that bind us to people; mates, spouses, parents, siblings, friends, and children. Another pursuit to feel loved, ackowledged, and valued… Yet all of these things place the ability to be happy outside of ourselves.
There is a level of attachment to people, situations, and things that tests the inner resolve and ability to handle life. Yet, if we really look at it…if we are really honest with ourselves…these are the things that also bring about the sadness, pain, and frustration. At some point, we become disappointed, bored, and/or disillusioned. So where is the balance? Is there a place, within living, that one could be happy regardless of whether or not these things existed in their lives?
What would you do if you lost it all, in this moment? What if everything you owned materially had to be given up, leaving you living a very simplistic existence where just your most basic ‘needs’ were provided for? What if all of a sudden the places you used to go and the socializing you used to participate in was banned from your way of life? What if suddenly everyone you loved and cared for were no longer part of your life? Would your whole sense of self plummet?
How attached are you to the things outside of you? How much control do the exterior things have over your life? Many may think it is cliche’ to believe ‘ Happiness only comes from within’. However, it is an subtle truth. Many people repeat the words but how many actually do the work to truly find that happiness and peace of mind within themselves and live from that space?
The first thing to look at is what purpose do the things that hold value in your life serve? Why are they so important to you? What would have to change about you to be able to give them up? What are you not giving to yourself that these things replace?
Lack of self -love and compassion are a rampant problem for both men and women. In trying to do everything right, please others, and give so much of the self…the cup becomes empty thus leaving an individual feeling less than whole. It is not to say that having things in one’s life is bad or wrong, but having an attachment or a ‘need’ for them is something to look at. In a sense it is a form of addiction. For example, a person that smokes, cannot go without a cigarette for a certain period of time otherwise there is a great sense that something is missing. This feeling grows to become nervousness, frustration, anxiety, and then anger. Is this how you would respond if any or all of the things you place value on were no longer in your life? How addicted are you. That would depend on how much you would feel the need to fight to have them.
So where is the solution? The solution lies in being able to fulfill yourself without the need for anything else…first. Could you spend a couple of days just on your own, not speaking to anyone, not going anywhere in particular, and having no gizmo or gadget to fill the time? Could there just be you, your thoughts, your feelings, and nature? How much time would pass before you became bored? When would your first thought drift to someone? When would you find yourself having the need to be busy doing something?
People have become so entwined with the world that they have forgotten how to be with themselves. Most individuals do not even know who they really are? A good question is…‘Would you marry you?’ ‘ What do you have to offer you?’ What is exciting, attractive, intriguing, sexy, considerate, and loving about you? And then can you be that for yourself first? Once you can be all that and more for YOU, you can fully give to others.
So what is the opposite of ‘Attachment’? That would be ‘Detachment’. And what would that look like?
Detachment would be the ability to live in the world, being open to the processes of life, without unbalancing your sense of self. It would be seeing good and bad things happen, experiencing the appropriate emotions, and moving forward instead of staying stuck in the past, future, positive or negative emotion. It is ‘staying in your own lane’. It is truly integrating the idea that you are here to experience yourself, life, and the people that move through it while being able to enjoy whatever comes your way without creating a sense of need or dependence. It is being able to let go of things when they no longer serve you and appreciate the gift that they were.
So, where are you in life?… Attachment vs. Detachment…It is a lesson. Start the path to discover the inside and find the answers to all questions rest within.
All you have to do is just go…
Beyond the Illusion…and…BELIEVE!!!
Warmest Regards,
Simran Singh