No Words Came…

Have you ever been away from someone a long time? There is a moment of awkwardness when you first reconnect. In that moment, there is so much to say and yet… no words with which to speak.  Have you ever wondered, ‘Will they still be there for me as much as I have remained committed despite my absence?’ I need to tell you something…
Last week was my first newsletter in about a year. I did not know how to begin again, or what to say. So, I started with what was familiar and wrote ‘Did you see the sign?’. I know it must have been necessary because of a few responses.
However, after last weeks writing, one woman replied by questioning why I was now writing to her again after so much time. The energy of the email felt as if she were upset, and the words slightly sarcastic. As I read it and went into my heart, what I felt was her sadness and disappointment, almost as if I had rejected or abandoned. I realized others may be feeling this way as well. I had disappeared for a year, and although I felt I had shared what had happened in the writing of  Your Journey to Love, my latest book… I realized not everyone would even know that I had shared, much less what I had been going through. I have been so used to giving love and inspiration, I had not let myself receive it in the most traumatic experience of my life.
I wrote back to her lovingly, explaining why I had disappeared. When she replied, her tone was also loving and accepting. We came to a place of communion and oneness from a place of separation. Two acquaintances moved into knowing each other in a little deeper and more heartfelt way by meeting each others ‘humanity’.  That is so much of what Your Journey to Love is about… discovering real love… finding our own humanity… becoming the lover and the beloved by way of shadow and Light.
My apologies for any abandonment or disappointment you may have felt in my absence. Approximately a year ago, I experienced extreme trauma that literally took me down. I was unable to do anything for many months. I checked no emails and created nothing. At most, I would try to place a Facebook post daily. I stopped my radio show and 11:11 magazine, in addition to any and all other activities. There were moments I was not sure I would ever be able to fully come back. But I am, slowly and steadily, at a pace I can handle. Right now that looks like one blog a week and a little on Facebook. And, I was even able to speak at an event ten days ago.
I am well. In fact, I believe better than I could have imagined. The beauty of the things that take us down: loss, trauma, illness, death… is that they make us stop. I really stopped. I’m talking about ‘so still that there is no writing, reading, or electronic devices’. Each moment was an attempt to breathe a little more deeply. Each step was a step back to life… to living again. Each tear, was the beginning of a rain shower that might never end, but provided continuous cleansing along the way. What got me through the most painful moments was my little 6-month old min-min pinscher, Trinity… if a 4-pound, 4-legged animal can save a life, this one did exactly that.
What I appreciate about the woman mentioned earlier is that she communicated; regardless of how it came out, she communicated. That gave me a chance to respond and understand. By revealing where we are, the doors of the heart can open to receive love and people can be seen, heard and acknowledged. Isn’t that what we all really want?
My message today… When there are no words, stay in the silence. When the silence calls for words, choose them lovingly and share them appropriately. The right words come in the right moment, in the right way, for the right purposes. There are no wrong turns… there are no mistakes… only opportunities to be more deeply in communion with the self and others.
You think that I am here to inspire you… yet, do you realize that YOU are my muse? It is YOU that inspires me to share in the way that I do. How’s that for the truth of giving and receiving… we each give and we each receive. Now that’s infinity! I love you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for continuing to walk with me. Thank you for remaining open. It is all… Your Journey to Love 
In Love, Of Love, With Love, As Love… I Am SIMRAN
SIMRAN is a catalyst and mentor that supports individuals in recognizing their own personal language with the Universe so that their steps are taken in a more conscious, empowered, loving and enlightened way for self discovery and Divine realization.
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